Friday, July 04, 2008

By the Numbers - Apologies to Harper's Index

95 - the number of honks a Yukon Denali car alarm makes before stopping
2 - the number of minutes a Denali car alarm remains silent before starting up again
Random - regularity with which the above pattern is repeated
17 - minimum number of cycles required to establish reasonable level of accuracy of the aforementioned pattern
1 - number of black Yukon Denalis parked in my neighborhood
0 - number of black Yukon Denalis in my neighborhood of which I was aware before last night
1.25 - number of blocks away the Yukon Denali is parked
159 - number of times more annoying a constant car alarm is than a series of severe thunderstorms resulting in 3000 lightning strikes in a 24-hr period
911 and 0330 - the phone number I dialed and the time I dialed it
zip, zilch, nothing, de nada - number of productive actions a police officer can take in the middle of the night with a secured vehicle and a constantly blaring alarm
65 - estimated possible number of neighbors robbed of sleep
2.5 - approximate number of hours it takes for the battery of a Yukon Denali with a sounding car alarm to run down enough to not have to hear it anymore
10 - range, in yards, required to hear a Denali car alarm after 5 hours or more of constant sounding
3 - expected number of days before the owner of the Denali discovers the dead battery
4 - number of hairs left on his head after trying to figure out why his battery is dead
15 - approximate percentage drop in volume resulting from closing the windows
6 - degrees Fahrenheit room temperature rises with no airflow due to closed windows
20 - suggested number of minutes manufacturers should configure car alarms to run before shutting down under the assumption that anyone who can respond will have done so already
60 - maximum number of minutes for the above
59.99 - minimum number of dollars expected to pay for a decent truck battery charger
116.98 - average price, in dollars, of a new battery suitable for a Yukon Denali
priceless - the value of a good night's sleep

How do numbers affect your life?